Wagons are being circled, tizzies are being thrown and children are being thought of in Oklahoma City, as the state's religious leaders are urging the faithful to pray like they've never prayed before in preparation for the most eagerly-anticipated religious event in the history of the city—one which the Catholic Diocese of Oklahoma claims could engulf the city with satanic evil via dry ice and a bucket of fake piss.

Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin is having a hell of a time keeping her satanic groups straight, and the mix-up may require her to make a rather awkward apology.

Oklahoma City officials say that Mayor Mick Cornett's office has received over 450 emails and phone calls opposing a satanic "black mass" set to be held at a city-owned downtown theater.